3rd Day part 2

5:00

After exposition I decided to take a look around the surrounding neighborhood. Well that was sort of a not great idea. Why? Because I have the directional skill of a priest I know. :). I looked for a star, but no start led me in the right direction. I guess you could say the barking dog, Big Giant St. Bernard. I intended my walk to only be a little while around the block but I ended up going from around 3:30-4:30. After having the flu walking in the cold not the best idea. So I am anticipatingf the Lord in evening prayer, then dinner cause its always yummy. I was thinking earlier about my discernment. I have looked at religious orders and discerned by talking to people including layity, and religious especially the Daughters of St. Paul. Is that what Iyou really mean Lord? Am I drawn to them mainly because of the people or is there something deeper there. I cant let go of the Daughters but the Sisters of Life I feel a calling to them also. Not very many minutes ago I was thinking of the salesians. But Im positive that God is not calling me to them . Each order had their reason of why I went to visit them. One reason I went to visit the Daughters was because of their dedication to spreading Gods word through the media especially their music. Then I went to visit the Sisters of St. Benedict in Ferdinand Indiana becase they too also spred the Love of Jesus through music mainly through Cd's and various liturgies.

6:15 AFter evening, adoration and Incense.

I know I just want to be with Jesus. But why does incense have to be used. I know that it helps lift our prayers to the Lord. But it drives my sinuses crazy. Why cant incense smell of fruit. Fruit smells good. What is the smell of incense anway. Something not of fruit thats for sure. The weather is also messing with my sinuses. It gets cold, then warm. Goodness. Why do I have some moments of clarity and other moments of unsureness. I want this but do you want this for me. I guess one is always discerning the will of God. one can never stop looking for Jesus. Jesus is present Body, Soul and Divinity. O Lords YEA ITs time for dinner. I need food, sinus medicine, the sleep

6:37


DINNER


6:45

Taking a break from journaling for the evening or for the mean time and resting the brain.

9:10

I just ate an orange that the Sisters of Life handed out. It tasted quite juicy. I love the Sisters of Life very much. What is making me wonder why this may or may not be the Vocation God has set for me. I jut want to do yiour will and nothing else. But what that will is seems to be a bit of question. The Sisters of Life are dedicated to defending life through all their works. The sisters too (the daughters) All catholic dedicate their lives to defending life (some catholics). Both evangelize. amazing charism. The music that was used during adoration was amazing. Being a young person I can relate to the music and see the Glory of God through it. I found Gods Love here, which is the most amazing gift ever. Is its the devils confusion or is it maybe that I need to possibly stop discerning this way. I wanted to join the lamp ministries but because Im not old enough and unfamiliar with the city, I was rejected. God has something in store and I know it will be amazing. But what that is I am unsure. Your will is tending to be quite confusing. Why is this so? Am I asking you the Right questions Lord. Should I ask you where you want me to go next not where do you want me to go forever. The Lord called me here. But I CANT THROW THE IDEA AWAY. When I try to stop thinking about it the thoughts keep coming back. I want to rest in your peace Lord but at times I lay in my bed my mind reaces and it keeps questioning my vocation. I need to completely rest in the fact that the Lord will take care of everything when I sleep.

Proctect us Lord as we stay Awake
Watch over us as we sleep
That Awake we make keep watch with Christ
And asleep rest in his peace.

The Lord Loves protects me and keeps me safe forever .
AMEN~~