My first day of silence!!

Jan 3, 2008

So I made it to Villa Maria. Im so excited to be here but I cant tell anyone that except for the Lord Jesus Christ. Im going to be doing a lot of talking to the man upstairs. I am going ( Moy hopes and dreams for this extened silence week is to give everything I can to the Lord and give up the will I want for my life and let Jesus Christ who is Lord of everything show me his will.

Lord,

Help me to focus energy on my prayer , your love, forgiveness, your never ending grace, and most inportantly help me to completely and 100% open to vulnerability your will be done. Let it be done to me according to thy will. Help me to let go of what I have wanted for a long period of time. Because you might have something that will give me greater happiness. Never let me stray away from you who gives me grace, peace and love forever and always.

May the upcoming days be filled with your love and Grace


AFter Dinner at Villa Maria at 7:00

My mind is racing with so many questions of what to ask the Lord and why I am here. Is it the people? Do I feel this way becasue I am overtired? Is it because I havent given into sin since monday?

8:00

Why am I here? Why does this question plaque me so? Is it that I want to find you? I know that you are in the Eucharist and I keep coming to you with the questions of my life. Is that a sign or am I reading into everything too much. Why am I thinking about, "When do the others make silent retreats? I love the Sisters passion. But you cant see much in silence. You can see joy that they have for the Lord in their hearts. I need and want to be like them. The Daughters of St. Paul are lingering in my head. Waht is it about them that draw me towards them. The Salesians? Yes? I was drawn to the Salesians but I realized God was not callilng me towards them. I went to visit the Benedictines nuns of Emmitsburgh PA but that was to focus on prayer and become calmer in my interior. I went on a Byzantine Catholic pilgrimage and that was powerful. Micrcosm of prayer and tradition. Then I went to visit the Sisters of Life Nov-14-16 and it was a powerful experience. The Lord showed me his love on my birthday. Amazing Birthday Present. I also was drawn to the Sisters Joy and their passion for Jesus. I remember Sister Mary Gabriel telling me first I had to work on why I didnt understand why God loved me through all my sinfulness. So, I went to him, opened up, and let him love me. It was powerful. I was in a silent prayer day when he told me that. He loved me and I understood it. I want to enter into that again. I feel like this is a dream that Im sitting in front of JEsus Christ the Nazorean. I feel likes it a dream that through everything I have done JEsus Loves ME. O Soo cool. Whats next Lord? Why am I Here? To find that again That Passion for you? My Vocation? I will focus on one thing? To Let go and Let God. I do think too much Lord. Its like Theresa of Liesieux. Did she ever not trust in you?There isnt an ounce of my body that wants to go against you. No more!!! A snack?!! When I allow myself to be loved by you nothing else matters But you!!! There is so much in the world that I worry about but help me to take it one moment at a time and one day at a time. Why so I worry? No more worry? Each day for four you.

Well my wanting to be a Sisters of Life become stronger throughout the week.

Be Still and Know I am God!!

Is it you that wants me to ask or is it I who wants to ask!!