Second Day of Silence

Well I made in through yesterday without too much of going nuts. Last night I was in deep prayer with you. There were many questions that come out of my mind. One big question that just occured to me is, "Can I resist the habits of impurity in my habit". I denounce everything about ; the feeling; the act itself, the reason why I tried to see what it was all about. Nothing will keep me away from you. Why is the feeling so strong in me right now. I just want it to leave. Its because Im vulnerable and I know what to do that I want to do something with my hands. This sin has held me captive for so long. why does this sin reign in my body. Why has this sin held me captive for so long. I resist and denounce. Because its something out of the ordinary? Becaue it releases energy. Because I love working with my hands? Crochet and pray. I love praying and working with my hands for good. When a brain is idle thats when the devil can make one question everything he fully believes in. Including one who wants to be completely close to the Lord God Almighty. Who is. Who was and who will be to come.

Fifteen Minutes Before Mass

I started to read a book that I picked up during my retreat at the Sisters of St. Benedit in Ferdinand IN. The book is called Diversity of Vocations. It talked about finding Gods will and the rythmn of Gods voice. I am looking to find it. I want to be closer to the Lord. The woman in the book sait htat she was set on being a religious but waited till after she graduated but her vocation changed. I am kind of actually Im really scared that religious life is not my vocation. If its not then? What is my vocation? I seen myself becoming a sister. Then why am I afraid to ask the Lord if thats really what I am called to be or do. Am I called to be a sister. But if I am called to be a sister. Which order. The Sisters of Life. I want to experience this with my friends thats one reason why I would want to and would enjoy living in community. Where I am showing people Jesus and experience life.

After Mass

I miss silent and being with him and not worrying about anything except the Lord Jesus Christ and his will for my life. It would sadden me to think I would have to give up all this. This might be a reason I self gratificate myself. Its because Im missing the Lord in my life. So I think its time to figure out this food deal.

2:25

See Eucharist Story: The Eucharist at a deeer level

8:20

I have just taken a shower and I was afraid that I was going to cause my alarm to go off. But the shower was nice and I put some jeans on so I can wear my pants again tommorow. Greater things have yet to come, and greater things have to be done in the city. I wish I could share this retreat with my friends. My friends are spread throughout many of states which is all thanks to my discernment and theirs. I love sharing my life with others. I cant wait to share this retreat with my friends. I cant wait to share my life with others. I have the TV show "made" going through my head and I remember one of the girls saying, "I'll have new friendsd to share crazy moments with". I want to join religious life. Buty right now I have yearning to share my experience thus far with my friends. Is this indicative of a religious vocation? I want to share the good news of Jesus Christ with others.

Random statement: I had a moment of question or the devil making me question when he asked me, "Are you living out of a suitcase".